The Daily Click ::. Downloads ::. Review
Review: Unknown Game 3733
Ah, the Klik and Play days. Well, not "Playdays", that was an old children's TV programme that had Dave Benson Philips and his insane grin. That will haunt me forever. Getting back to the matter in hand, this is one of the author's first games, so I hope he won't mind if I rip in to it as it deserves. I love reviewing bad games.
Right then. I started it up and the first thing I noticed was the abundance of ripped graphics. Shortly afterwards, the music reached my ears, which sounds like something generated by a Commodore 64, recorded and then played backwards. Maybe there's a message in there if you play it the other way round, like "Sell your soul to Smeby", but I can't be bothered finding out.
Then a child's head floated from the left hand side of the screen, the mouth opening and closing vacantly in a Monty Python style. It scared me to death. Fortunately, a minor thing like that didn't prevent me from using the Internet, and I don't think it ever will. I wasn't hopeful, but I pressed Shift to start.
As it turned out, you take the role of Anonymous Man in Red Jumper, who can jump about twice his own height, on the quest through the Doonsday Temple, or Temple of Doom, or something. I'm still wondering where that music came from, it definitely sounds like it was recorded over a microphone from some sort of keyboard demo.
After getting in to the temple itself, Red Jumper Man sinks in to the floor. I've no clue why. I hurried to the next room. At this point I was suddenly inspired to write that it felt a bit like Knightmare, going through a series of weird rooms and trying to avoid dying. I then decided that not enough people would know what I was talking about, so I would leave it out of the review. Except... well, never mind. As it happens, the next room had a rotating head in it which hurts you if you touch it, which scared me to bits all over again.
A couple of bad-tempered spikes later, I was squished by a rolling boulder that looked like a mouldy pizza and had to start again. It turns out that you just have to complete that room at a superhuman speed, which naturally I managed.
For some reason, the next stage has you falling down past spikes. With clouds in the yellow background. In an underground temple. OK, fine, it's not as if logic is paramount to Click games anyway. Afterwards you have to fight a pterodactyl which has onboard missiles and rock-throwing abilities, which makes noises like a particularly distressed chicken.
It took me a couple of tries to get past that as well, largely because you don't actually have to do anything to fight it. Once that's over with, though, Captain Crimson-Jumper flies away in a helicopter and the temple explodes for absolutely no reason at all. The caption "The end... or not?" then comes up. I sincerely hoped it was, and as it turns out it is indeed.
There's no point in saying what's wrong with this as the author already knows it's not one of his best (to say the least). However, it's still by no means the worst game I've ever played, and the old-fashioned idea of having an obstacle in every room to pass I found rather fun.
I must be mad.
Download This Game
David Newton (DavidN)