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Review: Lil' pirate
Author: Nick of All Trades
Added: 25/04/2009
Overall:
Average:8.25/10


You could say this game is a sort of turning point for Andy. His games prior to this, was quite average. No, I don't mean there are alot of that kind of games on this site. On the contrary it seems like every game posted here is either the zenith of accomplishment or the game equivalent of Hitler. I suppose it's due to the nature of clicking; either it makes sense, or it doesn't, quite like Circy.
Unlike Circy, however, this game won't make you yelp out "Holy crap! This is average!", which I kind of miss from his previous games. You see, I love old games. Not just that retro crap, but games made by people early in the development, especially early in click history. I guess you could call it a "crappy game fetish". My point is, Andy's games used to satisfy both my urge for entertainment that I get out of good games AND my coprofilia, and I loved them for it. But now he has replaced what I consider traces of personal quirks, character and miscellaneous fecal matter with neat pixel graphics and FastLoop. This, however, does not mean I didn't enjoy Lil Pirate as an experience.

In Lil Pirate you play the role as an obese, orange kid with a pirate obsession who wears a bandana but no trousers. I have no idea why it is called Lil Pirate. You don't play a pirate, there are no pirates in the game and there are no piracy implied at all. I can't help but to feel a litlle disappointed. I was really looking forward to plunder villages, burn down houses, capture maidens and laugh very pirately in the end as I level up. Ah, I can just imagine the +4 in charisma above his head right now. But instead I have to play through a linnear gameplay with lots of cool weapons, none of them cutlass or pistol. The weapons and general powerups are indeed what turns this game into an experience. There are alot of things you have seen before, like the arrow and the speed- up, things that are quite self explanatory. But then we get the verti-bomb. Ooooh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. There are alot of people, including Andy himself, who would say the verti-bomb is a crappy weapon, and they'd be right. As it function in a completely different dimension than the enemies by only moving up then down, the verti-bomb is very difficult to use, considering the ceiling is high enough for it to be used. But that's what makes it so cool. It's different. Andy has clearly put out the conditions for it to be used, and it works perfectly. It's not just about looking at the enemy and then kill it, you have to think. You have to be cool. And that's what makes it so cool! Then we have other weapons that turns this game into an experience, just a... different kind of experience. When I first collected the star I was rather confused. It didn't explode, turn into a homeseeking device or any other stuff you expect a star to do. It just did what an arrow did, just slower, and fewer. This definetly confused me, sure Andy could have put a power up just for the sake of annoyance, but why a star, the symbol of awesomeness? I finally asked him that myself, and when he told me you are supposed to jump on it, my face must have looked something like this:

Indeed. Surely there must be some form of transportation more comfortable than the pointy end of a star. I mean, sure it makes sense. Stars looks cool, floating platforms is a special power up, and when you shoot the stars in a line they form this delicious platform. But I keep having this image he is at some point about to be penetrated. Evidently this never happens, as once ontop of the star you need to constantly move with it. Ultimately, though, all you know is that the stars hurt the baddies, not the goodies. During the gameplay you collect coins, which you can use to buy power ups from celebirty shopkeepers, such as Fishhead and Tops the Pig, who evidently have no problem selling weapons to underaged strandees. Or you could just toss them on your enemies. If you have the right power up that is. The graphics, although very varying, never seizes to be neat. It's very pure and clean, yet detailed. The hero, being the unholy offspring of a parrot and a walrus that he is, comes out as very adorable, while most baddies looks like elephants if they grew on trees. Speaking of trees, it is funny how one type of trees appear only in the backgrounds and another only in the foreground. Andy uses some kind of window manipulation very neatly when you go under water.


Screenshot 2


The site says this is the part where I am supposed to talk about the music and the sound of the game. I have never realy cared about this new review system. It's like they are actually encouraging people to be uncreative when they write their articles. None the less, Lil Pirate uses a variety of very cool MODs, all ripped from the best MOD writers on the Internet. It is just this kind of classical gaming feeling most clickers try to achieve with their music, appropriate, beautiful yet not distracting.

Oh, great. It's two in the morning and I am very tired, and I have run out of clever things to write. Still, Lil Pirate is a rather long game. You won't beat it in one day. But the game's immersive qualities seize quite immediately after you beat it, which is a pity as there are appearantly alot of replay value, such as secret messages and stores that are NOT so convenient. This game, however, managed to carry me to the end, but no further. Another weak point is that it is not very hard. If you are looking for a challenge, you can either play something else or try to beat the game blindfolded.

As Scurvy Sanchez clones go, this game is pretty good. It has a gelatinous blob protagonist, several cool weapons, some boss fights that are pretty interesting, numerous cameos and an ending that is worth watching if not only for the lulz of it. If I were to put it into a category, I would say it is an interactive hiking trip, complete with spike pits, rainbow lasers and a gigantic Pacman.

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Posted by Rikus 25th April, 2009

wow great review! you should write more!
 
Posted by AndyUK 25th April, 2009

Yeah Nick you certainly put a lot of time and effort into the reveiw. Thanks.
I laughed when you said it had a weak point in being too easy. I think the vast majority of people thought it was too hard! Heck even i think it's quite hard!
 
Posted by RedEnchilada 26th April, 2009

The whole review was hilarious.
 

 



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