(Repost since a certain person decided it'd be fun to delete it, even though it passed the rikus test)

Break it down one time yo. This is a guide to getting operator status in #k&p on dalnet.

I've noticed lately, that when it's just those damn aussies in #k&p and there's no operators around, it turns into a place of anarchy ;_;
It makes me want to break down into tears and cry like a little baby. WAAA WAAA WAAAAA.
The things that go on in there... swearing... homophobia... fighting... warez.... booty shaking....
It's just disturbing.
So, to prevent this, I am writing a guide for those responsible enough, on how to be opped in #k&p for this ever to happen again.
Now why you might ask, have I not been opped, and the reason is simple enough. Borg fears my power. He knows that I already control the klikers in #k&p so even if I was AOPed he'd know I would have absolute power. fu fu fu bwahahhahaha. Anyway, I will help those who wish to become operator.

Okay, first off, to get to borg, you may need to influence his family, so where do we go from here? hmmm hmmm? Gazoo.
Dealing with Gazoo -
Since he looks up to borg, it is advised that when he enters #k&p you refer to him as Little borg, he enjoys the fact that he is compared to borg and will thusly be happy. Next you should ask him for ops, the way to do this would be to shout GIVE ME OPS! LITTLE BORGIO! he will take this as a sign of strength, but will not op you. However he will tell his brother borg about how nice you are and how you have strong character. This will look very good when mr. borg chooses ops.
Okay now that you have influenced his family, you need to influence his friends. Talk to rikus, his only friend. Rikus knows what's going down, he is 46, he's been around #k&p since the start so he knows what would make a good op. So how to make friends with the iron giant you may ask. This much is simple. Insult The Daily Click. This may seem an odd way, but he will see that you have complete honesty, and tell borg about this. See borg believes that honesty is a virtue that an op should have, so ach ha! you have got one step closer to obtaining operator status.
This next section only applies if you a newbie, you may think I IS A N00B! HOW CAN I GET ME L337 SKILLZZZZZ IN2 TEH #k&p 2 B TEH OP. Well there are 2 ways, YES 2 ways to counteract this. The first is by changing your nick to Mark-P, borg will see this and see that you remember mark pay, thus showing your oldbie status, immediate operator status for you.
The other is to change your nick to Akira and say I can't remember my nickname password, damnit, borg, please op me, although you will only have temporary operator status, it will work again and again and again.
Okay, onto dealing with borg. This section will be split into 3. Howto talk to borg, Howto help borg, Howto gain operator status from borg.
Okay, firstly howto talk to borg. You should first work on your greeting, now because he's a bloody foreigner, he speaks a whole different langauge to us and his grasp of english isn't what we'd call strong, or weak, we'd say he has the basic concepts of the english langauge but cannot speak it well. You must greet him like this HEY BORG! YOU STARTREK FAG!, he will notice that you have noticed he got his nickname from star trek, but also fag means very great man in his country. Now talking to him may be difficult as mentioned before, his grasp of english isn't good. So to talk to him, you must talk like you were to a little child, use the most simple words so he can understand. It is best to keep the conversation on his interests, startrek porn and the dictionary. I know these may seem like weird interests to you but in his country this makes him the king of cool. So how do you take these interests and talk about them.
First the startrek porn. You must talk about how you would like sexual intercourse with mr. spock as mr. spock is his favourite character from star trek. He will be delighted in the fact that you share the same favourite character and will become very excited.
<Borg453|Work|> mmmm nice
see.
Okay, how to talk about the dictionary. Whenever he mis-spells a word wrong, say to him have you even seen a dictionary lately?, as this will at first anger him, he will *eventually* notice you were making a reference to the dictionary which he most admires.
Okay, so the next section, howto help borg out, although he is a strong character, as said before, he does not have a strong grasp of english. So shout DO YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR ENGLISH, MR. BORG, YOU MAN FROM A FOREIGN LAND, he will see that you wish to help him, this will make him think you wish to help all clickers, and thusly op you.
So finally, how to get opped by borg, well if all other things above here have not worked, you must beg him for the op status. Because he is a dominant man, he will love that you are submissive to him and will give you op status.

Now wasn't that easy? Maybe I should have kept these long hidden secrets to myself, as the room will soon be filled with operators and I will be the only regular. ;_;
Oh well, till next time kiddies!

- FroZtByte
Coming soon:
A documentary into the life of a kliker,
Howto not offend borg so he doesn't ban you for writing articles filled with jokes about him,
Howto have a sense of humour.
Howto pass the rikus test.
BYE BYE!!! *waves*