Voldemort makes polyjuice potion of himself and draco malfoy sneaks in (as Voldemorts test for Draco) and puts it into a magical flask a secret death eater (also using polyjuice potion to look like Hagrid) gives to him at the start of the year. Ron drinks it and looks like voldemort and Harry kills him in the Griffindor common room
Voldemort comes in disguised as the new potions master, and gives harry a potion that makes him go into a coma. Ron sees harry dead and commits suicide by turning his head into a pumpkin, and then harry wakes up and commits suicide by flipping his skin inside out, then the end.
"Voldemort comes in disguised as the new potions master, and gives harry a potion that makes him go into a coma. Ron sees harry dead and commits suicide by turning his head into a pumpkin, and then harry wakes up and commits suicide by flipping his skin inside out, then the end."
After a night of heavy drinking and pill-popping, Harry returns to his quarters with some bint he picked up at Diagon Alley. Only thing is, he can't "perform" (soft willy issues). So he asks Ron, (who's in the next room recovering from those E's he had with some softcore trance music), for some cock potion. A mixture of confusion and hilarity ensures that Ron, in his drug-fueled stupor, gives Harry some clock potion instead, so Harry's nob turns into a big clock. Then they all laugh about in the morning.
That's about it really, she didn't really have enough skill or motivation to think up any more escapades.