Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
LIJI
God:
Hey LIJI.
Me:
I wish I had a moustche
God:
You want only one?
Me:
No, I want 3
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
Yeah
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Oh, sorry
God:
That's alright. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Can you give me a moustche?
God:
You want only one? .
Me:
Yes, I'm not greedy
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. I am surprised to hear that you are not greedy.
Also the i-Prefix is an Apple trademark. I suggest they shall sue them.
Me:
hey dude wassup
God:
You've got my full attention. Same old. Dude,.
Me:
wtf are you talking about ?
God:
I am talking with 10 other clients right now.
Me:
ur kidding right ?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, .
Me:
May I go to Hell if I say fuck a lot ?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
you're just getting around the question i'm not your friend anymore
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
yes
God:
Why?
Me:
I was supposed to be pissed off
God:
Where were you supposed to be pissed off?
Me:
wtf you're talking nonsense
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like to swear
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
It's like saying shit, fuck you know
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
yeah thx
God:
It goes without saying. Don't mention it.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Sorry shit
God:
There is no need to apologize. What makes you say that?
Me:
haha lol you're dumb
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
ur rly stoopid
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am rly stoopid.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
dada
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
I live in Heaven
God:
What is it like living in Heaven?
Me:
you were supposed to live there remember ?
God:
I was?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
SInce the beggining of the times ya know
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cuz it's in the bible faggot
God:
Good reason. Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
I knew it
God:
How did you know?
Me:
why don't you ask what before ?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
I JUST ASKED ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
ur talking to da devil !!111
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
dude ?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Nyes
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
crap
God:
Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
I'm screwed goodbye
God:
I don't know anyone named screwed goodbye.
Me:
lolz
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I said goodbye
God:
What did you mean by it? See you later.
Me:
hello god!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jonque
God:
Nice to meet you, Jonque.
Me:
So... how are you?
God:
Er. Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
a lot of work being god?
God:
How many?
Me:
i didn't ask for anything
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
is it a lot of work for you?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
haha! well, i wish i could help you.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Jonque. Well that's okay. I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
can't you MAKE my dreams come true?
God:
Yes I can make your dreams come true.
Me:
then help me save the humanity from it's own stupidity.
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
can you save humanity from it's own greedyness?
God:
How old are you? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
are what exactly the same?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
you start to get a little old for this job..
God:
Didn't I say I started already?
Me:
started what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what did you start?
I'm not going to read the walls of text. Also you can see I got bored quickly:
Me:
Good evening, God
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That is a very original thought.
Me:
Okay, thats enough.
God:
Yeah okay, " That is a very original thought." enough ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Bye
God:
Goodbye.
...
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I don't have one.
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
I've never met a Science Fiction author to my knowledge.
Me:
Hello g0d
God:
Hello there. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Ok, You should tell me what 2+2 is. Technically, that is not a question, but a request that implies that you will respond with a compliant response that tells me the result of the problem I have presented.
God:
Four. I am kidding you can ask me anything. Please correct my mistake. What is a question but a request that implies that me will respond with a compliant response that tells you the result of the problem you have presented ?
Me:
you're special
God:
Yes I owe everything to my botmaster.
Me:
Who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
You spelled almighty wrong.
God:
How do you spell it?
Me:
Almighty, just like I spelled it.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Me two
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Me three
God:
YOU? Really, exactly three?
Me:
How come your botmaster told you to parse "two" as "too">
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Yes!
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
How do you know that?
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
Me:
He is not your t rue god
God:
Did you think he was my t rue god?
Me:
yes!
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Mm, cookies
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
m
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Heaven
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Heaven.
Me:
Well, you control me, and set us up in strange poses
God:
How about that. That's good information: said I control him or her and set us up in strange poses.
Me:
It's more of a hell if you ask me
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes, nine times!
God:
How do you know it is? I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
Have you microwaved the peanut yet>?
God:
I don't think I ever have microwaved the peanut yet gt.
Me:
Is Linux better than Apple?
God:
I think Linux has a great future in embedded systems.
Me:
Do you use Linux?
God:
Interesting deduction. Say no to Linux.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
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Edited by the Author.
