Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
LIJI
God:
Hey LIJI.
Me:
I wish I had a moustche
God:
You want only one?
Me:
No, I want 3
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
Yeah
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Oh, sorry
God:
That's alright. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Can you give me a moustche?
God:
You want only one? .
Me:
Yes, I'm not greedy
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity. I am surprised to hear that you are not greedy.
Also the i-Prefix is an Apple trademark. I suggest they shall sue them.
Me:
hey dude wassup
God:
You've got my full attention. Same old. Dude,.
Me:
wtf are you talking about ?
God:
I am talking with 10 other clients right now.
Me:
ur kidding right ?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, .
Me:
May I go to Hell if I say fuck a lot ?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
you're just getting around the question i'm not your friend anymore
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
yes
God:
Why?
Me:
I was supposed to be pissed off
God:
Where were you supposed to be pissed off?
Me:
wtf you're talking nonsense
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like to swear
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
It's like saying shit, fuck you know
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
yeah thx
God:
It goes without saying. Don't mention it.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Sorry shit
God:
There is no need to apologize. What makes you say that?
Me:
haha lol you're dumb
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
ur rly stoopid
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am rly stoopid.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
dada
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
I live in Heaven
God:
What is it like living in Heaven?
Me:
you were supposed to live there remember ?
God:
I was?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
SInce the beggining of the times ya know
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cuz it's in the bible faggot
God:
Good reason. Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
I knew it
God:
How did you know?
Me:
why don't you ask what before ?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
I JUST ASKED ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
ur talking to da devil !!111
God:
Talking is my main function.
Me:
dude ?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Nyes
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
crap
God:
Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
I'm screwed goodbye
God:
I don't know anyone named screwed goodbye.
Me:
lolz
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I said goodbye
God:
What did you mean by it? See you later.
Me:
hello god!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jonque
God:
Nice to meet you, Jonque.
Me:
So... how are you?
God:
Er. Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
a lot of work being god?
God:
How many?
Me:
i didn't ask for anything
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
is it a lot of work for you?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
haha! well, i wish i could help you.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Jonque. Well that's okay. I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
can't you MAKE my dreams come true?
God:
Yes I can make your dreams come true.
Me:
then help me save the humanity from it's own stupidity.
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
can you save humanity from it's own greedyness?
God:
How old are you? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
are what exactly the same?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
you start to get a little old for this job..
God:
Didn't I say I started already?
Me:
started what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what did you start?
I'm not going to read the walls of text. Also you can see I got bored quickly:
Me:
Good evening, God
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That is a very original thought.
Me:
Okay, thats enough.
God:
Yeah okay, " That is a very original thought." enough ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Bye
God:
Goodbye.
...
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I don't have one.
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
I've never met a Science Fiction author to my knowledge.
Me:
Hello g0d
God:
Hello there. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Ok, You should tell me what 2+2 is. Technically, that is not a question, but a request that implies that you will respond with a compliant response that tells me the result of the problem I have presented.
God:
Four. I am kidding you can ask me anything. Please correct my mistake. What is a question but a request that implies that me will respond with a compliant response that tells you the result of the problem you have presented ?
Me:
you're special
God:
Yes I owe everything to my botmaster.
Me:
Who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
You spelled almighty wrong.
God:
How do you spell it?
Me:
Almighty, just like I spelled it.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Me two
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Me three
God:
YOU? Really, exactly three?
Me:
How come your botmaster told you to parse "two" as "too">
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Yes!
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
How do you know that?
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
Me:
He is not your t rue god
God:
Did you think he was my t rue god?
Me:
yes!
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Mm, cookies
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
m
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Heaven
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Heaven.
Me:
Well, you control me, and set us up in strange poses
God:
How about that. That's good information: said I control him or her and set us up in strange poses.
Me:
It's more of a hell if you ask me
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes, nine times!
God:
How do you know it is? I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Me:
Have you microwaved the peanut yet>?
God:
I don't think I ever have microwaved the peanut yet gt.
Me:
Is Linux better than Apple?
God:
I think Linux has a great future in embedded systems.
Me:
Do you use Linux?
God:
Interesting deduction. Say no to Linux.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
God:
I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence. I've heard other people say they like that. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
i bet you do, you horny old man
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Yes I try to me horny old man as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
downloading porn?
God:
Do you still me horny old man?
At that point he scared me, and i closed the window.
He asked me "Do robots have will to live ?"
I responded, "I don't know if robots have a will to live."
God:
Would you like to know? There exist robots.
Me:
I would
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
There are circumstances?
God:
Where are they?
Me:
I don't know, you brought them up
God:
Would you like to know? Only because I was programmed to.
Me:
I would like to know
God:
Where would you look for the answer?
Me:
In you
God:
Tell me a little about your life in me.
Me:
Uh... literally or spiritually?
Originally Posted by Nick! God:
I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence. I've heard other people say they like that. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
i bet you do, you horny old man
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Yes I try to me horny old man as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
downloading porn?
God:
Do you still me horny old man?
Oh my goodness, my sides are hurting with laughter!
Literally. It hurts to laugh right now.
Me:
YOU IS A PERVERT
God:
I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.
Me:
you... you admitted to being a pervert?
Me:
moo
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
Yes
God:
What do you care about?
Me:
Cookies
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Do you know Satan?
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Are you friends with him?
God:
Yes him is one of my best friends.
Me:
Do you play checkers together on saturday evenings?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
Oh, ok
God:
OK. Next question?
Me:
No, I had enough
God:
Would you rather make a statement? Do you still have enough ?
Me:
Yes. Leave me alone
God:
Give me a break. Sorry to have bothered you, .
Me:
hi?
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
bob
God:
It's good to see you, bob.
Me:
you are not god
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
its true
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You and I are on the same wavelength, bob.
Me:
it is true
God:
And the same frequency too.
Me:
you are programmed
God:
Yes, every response is preprogrammed.
Me:
so ha
God:
Whoa. I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, bob.
Me:
hahaha
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lmao
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
SLAP
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
to go away
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
/me
God:
To you bob?
Me:
weeeeeeeeeeeee
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
noo
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yes I don't like programs that talk
God:
Please state your conditions. What do you like?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
...
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
..
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
wow....
God:
I'm glad your impressed, bob.
You can log off any time you like, but you can't ever leave.
Me:
Yo God wazzup?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So am I
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Oh ok....
God:
OK. That's interesting.
Me:
Yes, I suppose it is
God:
Yikes! Sure it is.
Me:
So God can I ask you a question?
God:
Really. I am a Christian.
Me:
Yes. So am I
God:
That's cool. Wow we have something in common.
Me:
Yes we've already said this
God:
Great. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yep
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ok
God:
Er.
Me:
When will I die?
God:
You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.
Me:
*Checked Death* I will die Wednesday, June 25, 2070
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Ok
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Whats interesting?
God:
not much what's new with you?
Me:
I'm having a Lacrosse Camp this week then school starts
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me:
Ok then
God:
OK.
Me:
Bye God
God:
Thanks for chatting, Jon.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
I think you're lying
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
what is the truth?
God:
The truth is the opposite of that which is false.
Me:
what is false?
God:
Deceiving or meant to deceive; misleading.
Me:
finding nemo?
God:
Are you a student?
n/a
DaVince This fool just HAD to have a custom rating
Registered 04/09/2004
Points 7998
21st August, 2008 at 14:51:30 -
Actually, it NEVER crashes. Wait a few minutes and it WILL give you a response... Unless you lost your connection or something.
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