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The Daily Click ::. Downloads ::. Review Review: Unknown Game 2528
Well I'm just giving this game the review that Jonathan expected. Okay, Lets get started. I open the game to see a massive pixelated chracter in the background. It has blue skin and purple hear. Its the kinda picture that would make you wish you were colour blind. In front of the backdrop we have the words "Happy Producksho..." The rest is cut off by the side of the screen. The letters are in an annoying font and are flashing all sorts of crappy colours. If they cause you to get dizzy and pass out, this isn't a bad thing. You'll also hear a music that loops over and over... By 2 seconds of having open the game your probably mashing all the keys on the key board trying to make it stop. wow, all that to write about the first screen... Lets continue. Ahhh the title screen. The massive grey blob thing in the back. It tries to say somthing but it's incredibly hard to understand. It sounds kinda like "I don't wanna die". Well thats strage because after seeing that screen I did. Also theres a spinning bouncing umm... well I'm not sure what it is, It could be text... If you squint your eyes it looks like the words "F**K OFF" ... Okay after recovering from seeing that I read the text "Press Shift" and bellow that it says "Tostard" I'm guessing thats the name of the main character and its the mix between a tosser and a retard. Okay.. lets press shift AGGGGHH! My eyes! Its that screen again with the stupid blue haired kid. I have a head ache... Press shift again and the game finnally starts, not that thats a good thing... Now the story... Its most definetly the worst thing I've ever read. I'd rather read anything else... ANYTHING. not to mention the annoying sound the background sounds like someone was trying to cram a jack hammer in my ear. I wont fill you in on the details of the story because I feel dumber every time I read or even hear about it. Now lets learn how to "plaay" the game. You'll need your brain for this part to so don't spend too much time at the story screen. The controls are all over the key board so just try to remember them. Okay. Lets play.. I'm not sure If i'm the bubble or the blob so I'll just try my hardest to explain this part. I pressed one of the buttons.. I think it was fly.. and the blob jumped and span around... Its hardly flying. now I try shooting! at the point you'll be like "WTF?" I think the blob stores skate boarders in its large belly and fires them at fruits and wheels of fortune ans crazy crap like that you'll find in this level. I think they were lives in the top left corner. It looked like half a blob with a blue peg attatched to it. When I jumped a wheel of fortune appeared. I'm guessing that its the sorce of its energy or some crapppy idea like that to go along with the story line. Theres so much stuff scattered on the levels I'm not sure whats bad or good or platform of background. I keep on dieing but I'm not sure how... well I think i'm dieing. I could be winning. Its seriously really hard to tell.... I passed my 1500 chracter limit ages ago but theres still so much more to say. The walking animation is pretty cool, I like how half its head dissapears and crapperly drawn legs suddenly appear... Well I may of liked it... If i was stoned. I give this game 10/10 on the originality scale but also 10/10 on the homosexual scale. I think I'm being generous but I give you a 0/10.
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