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Review: Unknown Game 2579
Author: David Newton (DavidN)
Added: 20/02/2003
Overall:
Average:5.33/10

Have a guess at how many people bothered to turn up to the pub crawl this evening. Five. Out of the entire University. So I've retired to my five-walled room and written this instead.

On startup, I immediately tried some of the default Windows controls, and happily they were the defaults this time (see Ultimate Romba Kombat). Well, most of them, anyway. Annoyingly, there's a non-skippable set of logos. The intro is of a slightly pixellated monster burning Meraklis's house down, but otherwise it's quite well drawn. He then dashes past a few signs, which say things like "Salt" and "Sin" (don't ask me).

You're then treated to the title screen, with - and I cannot emphasize this enough - an absolutely infuriating MIDI which is about four and a half seconds long. Seriously, if you've ever read A Clockwork Orange, they could have just played this MIDI to him instead of going through all that wiring the eyes open and everything, and he'd have cracked in no time.

The main character, who is obviously Mario painted blue and with a different head stuck on him, has the default platform movement as far as I can tell. At least, I kept getting my head stuck in the ceiling, and the whole game feels very 'tuggy' - even the arcs of seemingly randomly-placed coins in the levels aren't suited to your jump height. Another interesting feature is the use of 'lightning bolt' powerups, which ping you about six miles in a random direction and disable your animation for the rest of the level.

If you think you've played a game with annoying sound, wait until you've heard this. I have no idea what was going through the author's mind when he put them in, but I'd rather have listened to the sound of a pitchfork being grated down a blackboard than these samples.

But the graphics are very well done (though many of them are ripped). What the author needs to do here is work on the gameplay, possibly replacing the GFactory platform engine with another. Trying to get a character to move on after screwing his head into the ceiling and being Game Over-ed because of a badly designed moving platform puzzle isn't my idea of fun, I'm afraid.

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