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Review: Egghead! Demo
I guess I've been lazy when it comes to reviewing games. I've always intended to review Egghead, but somehow never really been bothered. But I have time to kill, so let me ask the question - are all the people who really like this game stupid?! Were they bribed or something?!
Obviously, if you thought I meant this with malicious intent, then you're wrong. I would probably be fired if I was to be found insulting people. But Egghead...well, I downloaded it a few months back and well...didn't like it. Heres why.
The general presentation is ok. Nothing particularly special about the menus or storylines, but they're there, and it shows at least the author has put some effort in. It feels a bit slow though, and sticky. Can't explain why.
Erk. This is the games major downfall. For me, the levels are far too big, and very repetitive. Egghead has two attacks, a jumping on bad guys heads move, and a shooting...thing. Neither has been particularly well executed. The jumping is fine, but there's only one enemy that you can actually kill by doing that - those mushrooms that spit out sparkling diamonds. The other enemies end up as trampolines, pretty much, for the Eggy one.
The Shooting mechanism is appalling. Egg dude shoots a blade thingy, which disappears far too quickly. Thus you have to get really close to a bad guy to start beating him down. Ashmans 2003 competition game had the same problem, and I dislike it for the same reason.
The engine is really sticky. After His Eggcellency lands after a jump, he seemingly pauses a milisecond before being able to continue his relentless journey into the realms of mediocrity through the levels of crapness. No offense, but these levels have a terrible design. There's no variation in direction, theres far too much jumping involved. Oh, and each level is populated by collectibles; collect enough and you'll get an extra life. Not that you'll need it, of course. At least, until the boss. Things to improve on: level design, a better engine, shorter levels! The game isn't all bad though...
Graphically, Egghead is nice. Not exactly Cameron Diaz, but definately not a Dot Cotton. Perhaps a Gail Porter or a Fern Cotton. The graphics are pretty good. They're simplistic throughout, but boldified. Which I like! There are good touches of shading and it all blends well together. Apart from Egghead himself - he seems out of place. The background is just a collection of hills, nothing fantastic here, but overall, a fair job.
Sound and Music
Oh dear. I get myself all worked up over the few good points, and when it gets to the sound, all I think of, at least regarding the music, is a cat having its claws forced down a chalkboard. The music is awful. It is obnoxious. If Mozart had bashed this out on his piano I'd have shot him without a second thought. Sound effects are a little better though, so this category's not a complete failure.
I can't really judge the lastability. As a demo, its long enough, but theres also something telling me there should have been a bit more in there. Perhaps another level. It also doesnt help that you have to play through such long levels. You'll get bored after a while and just frantically search for the ALT and F4 keys.
A pretty shoddy effort. I feel a bit bad about mutilating this game as the author has put a lot of effort into it. It's just the fact that the effort hasn't paid off. Here's hoping this franchise is permanantly put to sleep, I'm sure the author is capable of much better.
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The Chris Street
Unspeakably Lazy Admin