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Posted By
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Message
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David Newton (DavidN)
Invisible
Registered
27/10/2002
Points
8322
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2nd September, 2003 at 19:15:38 -
A man walks in to a bar (how many jokes start like that...?), orders a drink and sits down with it. After a while, though, he gets bothered by all the smoke in the place (well, it's what you'd expect from a pub in Aberdeen) and asks the barman if he can open a window to get rid of some of it.
"I can do better than that", says the barman, and inhales deeply. The man watches astonished as he breathes in all the smoke, then leans out of the window and blows it all outside, leaving the bar perfectly clear.
"How did you do that?!" he asks, agog. (What a great word.)
"Well, let me tell you a story," the barman says. "When I was much younger, about eight years old, I had an obsession with farm machinery. I collected models, magazines... all sorts of things to do with tractors. For my ninth birthday, my parents got me a great present - to visit a farm and ride around on a tractor. That was the best day of my life... but sadly, it tipped over when I was on it and I nearly broke both my legs. When I got home, everything had to go - I wanted nothing more to do with collecting farm models, I gave them all away."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said the man, "but what's that got to do with the smoke?"
The barman replies: "I'm an ex-tractor fan!" <¦-D
(Trombone slide)
http://www.davidn.co.nr - Games, music, living in America
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Matt Boothman
The Nissan Micra of forum members
Registered
20/09/2002
Points
109
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3rd September, 2003 at 13:12:36 -
A short one now...
A man is talking to a man, when they start to discuss holidays.
"My wife went to the Caribbean", the first man said.
"Jamaica?", said the second.
"No, she went of her own accord".
A joke only people like me will get...
Knock Knock,
Who's there?
Elephant
Elephant who?
Elephant paper.
http://soundcloud.com/normbo - Listen to my music.
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Penguin Seph
Registered
11/12/2002
Points
1338
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3rd September, 2003 at 14:18:18 -
Man-Fat penguin, Fat penguin, Fat penguin.
Woman-Why are you saying that?
Man-I wanted to say sometime to break the ice.
<Der der dom!>
Hi!
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Silveraura
God's God
Registered
08/08/2002
Points
6747
        
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7th September, 2003 at 15:43:04 -
So a guy walks into the doctors office & says.
Doctor, my wife is acting like a chicken, she walks like a chicken, & clucks like a chicken.
The doctor says, how long has this been going on?
The guys says, for a long time now.
The Doctor says, then why didn't you bring her in sooner?
The guy replys, we needed the eggs!
http://www.facebook.com/truediamondgame
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Knudde (Shab)
Administrator
Crazy?
Registered
31/01/2003
Points
5125
    
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7th September, 2003 at 16:31:15 -
I've got a joke
Dogzer.
Funny isn't it. Just playin with you dogzer 
  - The smileys are invading, kill them all!
Craps, I'm an old man!
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Joe.H
Evil Faker
Registered
19/08/2002
Points
3305
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7th September, 2003 at 16:52:01 -
2 men are walking down the street. One walks into a bar, the other man ducks.
My signature is never too big!!!
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Ashman
Possibly Insane 
Registered
12/06/2002
Points
3974
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8th September, 2003 at 00:21:20 -
Why do they call it PMS?
Mad Cow Disease was already taken!
LLLOOOOLLLL! I love that one.
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.
"Outshined" - SoundGarden
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Lew
Registered
06/01/2002
Points
1014
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3rd October, 2003 at 13:25:16 -
A man in the bus sits next to a nun. He says to the nun, 'Have sex with me!'. The nun gives him a disgusted look and leave at the next stop. The bus driver says, 'I can get the nun to have sex with you'. Man says 'really?' and the bus driver says 'Yeah. Listen. The nun goes to the graveyard every night at 7:00 and prays. All you gotta do...'.
Later that day the man went to the graveyard, and sure enough, there was a nun praying there. The man came up in a huge robe and glow in the dark powder sprinkled on him.
'I am god.' says the man, 'and I will give you a good place in heaven if you have sex with me.'
The nun, after some debating, agrees to anal sex to preserve her virginity.
After a good pounding, the man rips off his mask and shouts 'Haha, I'm the man from the bus'
At which the nun rips off her mask and says 'Haha! I'm the bus driver!'
<--intelligent, witty comment here-->
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Smeggy
The Smegster
Registered
08/01/2003
Points
1062
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3rd October, 2003 at 14:20:36 -
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! LEW!!!!
http://www.klik-union.com
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Phredreeke
Don't listen to this idiot
Registered
03/08/2002
Points
4504
 
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21st August, 2005 at 06:50:36 -
I get it! OMGLOL
- Ok, you must admit that was the most creative cussing this site have ever seen -
Make some more box arts damnit!
http://create-games.com/forum_post.asp?id=285363
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Nick of All Trades
Possibly Insane
Registered
03/09/2002
Points
2312
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21st August, 2005 at 07:48:51 -
- I wish I could do as my brother and see the world
- Is he a backpacker?
- No he is an astronaut
n/a
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Cazra
Crazy?
Registered
24/07/2002
Points
4472
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21st August, 2005 at 08:51:16 -
A seal walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he'd like anything to drink. The seal replies, "Anything but a Canadian Club."
n/a
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axel
Crazy?
Registered
05/02/2005
Points
4766
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21st August, 2005 at 09:57:01 -
Phizzy's IQ is over 12.
n/a
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Phredreeke
Don't listen to this idiot
Registered
03/08/2002
Points
4504
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21st August, 2005 at 10:02:44 -
LMAO good one, aggggge!
- Ok, you must admit that was the most creative cussing this site have ever seen -
Make some more box arts damnit!
http://create-games.com/forum_post.asp?id=285363
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Pete Nattress
Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif
Registered
23/09/2002
Points
4811
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21st August, 2005 at 11:56:39 -
Don't resurrect posts you damn fool.
www.thenatflap.co.uk
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This thread has been locked by an administrator
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