I am aware that you guys think this is crap, but I'm trying again anyway. Please don't bother to tell me how crap it is, I already know. If you all ignore this post, it will move to the bottom of the list. If this post goes onto page 2 of the Boards, I promise that I'll delete this post myself, and never try again. I'll even give up on subjects which involve a girl. Until that happens, I'll keep coming back. If you lock me, I'll re-post. If you delete me, I'll repost. The only way to get rid of me, is to let me fall off the bottom of the page. I also promise not to double post, as a way of keeping this post active. I will only post when I'm not the last person to post. When I first came to this site, it was yellow. When I first made a game, I was in primary school. Now I'm in university. I'm pretty sure I deserve to post this here. Okay?
Once more, if this post falls below the bottom of the page 1, I'll delete it. I promise.
Now, for those few people who either havn't seen the last post, or don't already hate this, this post is for people who would like to complain about girls, advise about the handling of girls, tell stories about girls, debate about lonlyness vs. having a girlfriend, or anything else you involving girls.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
You do realize that that small contribution kept it alive don't you? You're keeping a crap post alive you realize. Let it die, and not only will I delete this post, I will post an apology for wasting your time. Until that time comes, I don't believe that it is a crap post, and no amount of being told that this post is crap will change my mind.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
Deal, okay I'll begin the cramped leg story. (Actually, I've really just copied and pasted it from Word. I wrote it all down one day, trying to get it into a magazine.)
Okay, the following is a true story. I know what you’re thinking. True stories are never funny. Well, I know it’s a long read, but it’s well worth it. I promise.
Anyway, like I said, this is a true story. I don’t expect you to believe me. I have a hard time believing it myself. Though, the fact is, it really did happen. I know this for sure, as I was there. It was my fault it happened. Though, as much as I regretted it at the time, if I had that day over, I’d do it all again, just because it was a really cool story.
Okay, imagine a gorilla. If you’re not sure what a gorilla looks like, find a picture of one. Now, imagine shaving that gorilla. Then imagine putting glasses and a goatee onto it. This story is about that gorilla’s girlfriend.
Luckily for me, on the day of this story, that particular gorilla wasn’t in eyeshot, or earshot. Otherwise I would’ve handled the situation quite differently. As I was at the time, clearly less powerful than a gorilla. Also, the gorilla had friends who may jump in, if I fought back. The only of friends I had at the time would instantly pretend not to know me if I was being attacked by a gorilla, hippo, giraffe, dolphin, kitten, meercat, or anything for that matter.
At the time of writing, she is no longer going out with a gorilla, but instead a black belt in karate. Though that has nothing to do with anything, as there is no gorillas or karate in this story.
The story begins in a High School resource center.
There is a secluded part of the resource center once known as “The Quiet Reading Area”. Though, it is now known, as “The Out of Bounds Area” as it was impossible to see what students were doing down there from the library desk. Luckily for me, at the time of the story, it was the quiet reading area, otherwise the story may never have happened.
Now, I was sitting at a table in the quiet reading area with three girls. One of them was Diana, Diana being the gorilla’s girl. (I’m not telling you which Diana. I’m sure that since the release of this joke, every Diana in the world may start getting interesting looks.)
Behind Diana, there was a bookshelf. Behind the bookshelf, there was a wall. Within yelling distance, was a table with three or four guys my year level.
Diana was suffering from a cramped leg. It was the muscle above the knee. The muscle used for kicking people in the groin, as I understand it. Though I’m certain that there was some non-groin-kicking explanation for this cramp.
I forgot to mention, the quiet reading area was for people who were either quietly reading, pretending to be quietly reading, or had a book on the table they could pick up quickly if a teacher walks past.
To meet this requirement, Diana had to stand up, turn around, pick up a book, turn back around and sit back in her chair. A task Diana thought she was quite ready for, despite having a cramped leg. She thought wrong.
Instantly the remaining three of us got up, and crowded around Diana’s collapsed body. She was clearly in pain. I asked her where it hurt. She pointed to her groin kicking muscle.
Now I decided that the best action to take in this particular crisis. Was to rub her leg with my knuckles. (She was wearing jeans at the time.) I had no idea if it would work or not. I figured if it wasn’t working, I could just stop rubbing. Now being the only male there, I was the first person to completely analyze the problem, and apply an effective solution. Also, being the only male there, I was also the most eager to rub her leg. (Though in my defense, the girl who was once my girlfriend, but is now my friend who acts like a girlfriend has better legs. Anyway, she’s a longer story. At the time of the incident, I didn’t yet know her.) Anyway, this rubbing action involved the knuckles making it from the top of her leg, to the bottom of her leg, and back again, repeat.
So here I am, rubbing away, and Diana lets out a moan of relief. Somewhere between an “ah”, and an “oh”. If my memory serves me well, I think it was more on the “oh” side of the scale. Though, what ever it was, it sounded exactly like an orgasm.
I can’t remember exactly how loud that noise was, but the guys on the table in yelling range I told you about, heard it quite clearly. They all turned around to see what was going on. They saw me rubbing Diana’s leg with my knuckles. Though I was behind a table. So they didn’t know that it was Diana’s leg I was rubbing. Nor that I was using my knuckles. They just saw me making massive arm movements. Arm movements long enough for me to go from the knee to the top of the leg, and back again.
I tried to give them a “This isn’t what it looks like,” look, but I don’t think they knew the meaning that particular facial expression. Or maybe I just wasn’t doing the “This isn’t what it looks like,” look properly.
While I’m giving that look, Diana makes another orgasmic noise. Then in her orgasmic tone of voice, she says, “That feels good!” With a short pause on the word ‘good’.
I politely told her to be quiet. Then, in the same voice, she says, “But it feels so good!” Once again, with the pause on ‘good’.
I told her to be quiet again. At this point, some of the guys on the table were standing up, in an unsuccessful attempt to see what’s over the table. They wouldn’t have seen anything below my elbow. That’s for sure.
Okay, this is the moment where I did something stupid. Let’s just pause this story for a bit, and assess all my options at this particular moment.
Option A: Continue to rub Diana’s leg in clear view of everyone, despite clear risk of embarrassment, and possible gorilla beatings.
Option B: Explain the situation to the guys while continuing to rub Diana’s leg. Though, I was in the silent reading area. Thus yelling out to the guys would get me kicked out of the resource center, leaving Diana’s poor leg unattended.
Option C: Walk up to the guys and explain the situation, thus guaranteeing Diana’s leg to be left unattended.
Take a guess which option I picked. That’s right, Option D: Duck my head under the table, and pretend to be invisible. Thus looking like I’ve given my arms a break, and have started using my mouth.
When my services were no longer required, Diana rose from behind the table upon the arms of two other girls. Diana still couldn’t walk by herself.
I don’t know what impressed the guys on the nearby table more. The fact that the girl involved was Diana who was clearly too good for me, and even too good for them. Or the fact that after I had finished Diana was unable to walk.
The other two girls told Diana that they would take her to the student office. “You’re in Jon!” yelled the guys as I walked past them on the way out.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
It has nothing to do with anything, it's just a cool girl story. Chamzel asked for a girl story, and I gave him one. There's no moral or anything, it's just something that happened to me once.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
Sophomore year, two of my hotter chick-friends came over slightly annibriated and put on a little strip tease for us in my room. Now that's a cool girl story -- and a hell of a lot shorter than yours.
It's called a boner, Jon, you just got your first one. Ask your mum what you do next and she'll give you "the talk".
Show me the power child,
I'd like to say,
That I'm down on my knees today,
Gives me the butterflies,
Gives me away,
'Til I'm up on my feet again,
I'm feeling outshined.
I have this psycho girl who thinks she should be the center of my universe, and otherwise throws big huge tantrums if X = My Universe is not holding true. We will call Psycho Girl... Chamzel's Stupid Girlfriend. She is 22 years old and lives on her own on disability funding from her state and lives in a really cheap, really small single apartment... filled with really old guys and a few other young disabled people to boot. Anyway, that's cleared out of the way.
Today's story of Chamzel's Stupid Girlfriend...
So she needs to use a pay washer and pay drier to do her laundry with. A lot of the time she doesn't have her money split into quarters, and she needs about $4 worth of quarters for a complete two loads. Whenever she doesn't have that money split she'll call me, no matter what the weather is like or how late it is. So one day I follow the calling of Stupid Girlfriend and arrive at her apartment. She asks "Chamzel, can you take me to the bank so I can get my money split into quarters?"
I look at her funny and go, "Bank? The bank's closed. Why don't you go have it split at a gas station, it's just down the street. You can make it there in about thirty minutes if you start walking now!"
She boggles in question and says, "The gas station? Why?"
I begin to bang my head against a wall and say, "Because you can go to just about any store and ask them to split your money for free!"
At that point I tug on her arm and we get going to my car. I drive her down to the gas station, which is nearing close time. I bump her into the door and nudge her side, and she starts to try asking the clerk if he would split the money for her. And, of course, indeed he does. I've done it there before, so I know that they don't expect you to buy something first before they'll do any free services for you. She gets enough quarters for her laundry, however, the store didn't quite have enough quarters to split her five dollars.
And that, my fellow clickers and clickettes, is Story number one of Chamzel's Stupid Girlfriend.
And if you ever wonder what she looks like, then no, she is not blonde. But I could sure make a blonde joke out of her!
I dunno, locking just because people can't get girls and don't like seeing stories about ladies is kind of down right lame, Circy. If you're locking a thread because YOU can't get a girl is even more down right lame. -_-
Admins need to get together and discuss things like this and post up on the website rules about what can, should, and cannot/should not be discussed around here before admins go around rabidly laughing and locking threads around. This should also help the taming of admins who aren't quite down with their responsibilities in keeping the people who like to run around and flame others down and in order. This all should then be brought up with the site owner, or head honcho admin, and have it stamped for approval and then posted for every user to see. Furthermore, you should really consider explain why you are locking a thread with your admin privileges within reasonable lengths. Being an admin is about responsibility and unfavorability, not the other way around, if you know what I mean.
dogzer is right. circy said he doesn't liek teh girls so lock this thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Pete Nattress Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif
Registered 23/09/2002
Points 4811
30th January, 2004 at 10:48:42 -
CHAMBERS! enough! bloody hell, you are surely the stupidest, most arrogant and annoying person alive! i figured that the small hint of LOCKING the last post would perchance penetrate your self opinionated brain, but it appears that is not enough. so, here is your first and last official warning: if your bring this topic up again, at all, you will be banned. BANNED. including an IP block.
"If you lock me, I'll re-post. If you delete me, I'll repost..."
i sincerely hope that's not a challenge to me or the admin team. don't bother jon, look around you... we'll win.
the same applies to everyone else. of course, you can discuss girls etc, but only if you are mature about it (which isn't very likely at the moment).
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