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Review: Jeff Pwns II
Author: 3kliksphilip
Added: 16/11/2008

Jeff Pwns. What a great name. I mean, seriously. A name, then what he does for a living. Add some Roman Numerals to the end and you've got yourself an award winning title which wouldn't look out of place when put up against all time greats such as 'Death Giver' and 'Horris Goes Skiing'. However, names aren't enough and you have to go above and beyond the Call of Duty (TM) to justify taking that game name for your own. Just as anybody wanting the latest computer games would be disappointed if they were to visit , I'm sure that people booting up to 'Kill Kill Stab Murder 4: Civilian Massacre' only to be greeted with a monochrome blockovision rendition of pong would be quite upset that they've departed with a nice lump sum of money and / or 700 MB of download for the opportunity.

Oh sorry, where was I? Ah yes- Jeff Pwns II. Boot it up and you'll feel as if it's 1989 again. Beepy sound effects and Presentation-ruining 'appear one letter at a time' introductions are best left 20 years in the past, but hey. It has a certain style to it. In fact, this game is quite nicely presented. For an Atari game. I would say more but I can't actually think of much more to add. It's an ATARI game, only with a messier instructions page.

Gameplay consists of jumping around with the WASD controls, aiming with the mouse. I felt right at home and was blasting things about for a while. It's satisfying to fire the weapon and you really feel a connection when you hit something, be it a pseudo-3D block or a Construct image. I assume this game gets harder as it goes on, but the difficulty curve is fairly flat and restarting the game in an attempt to beat your high score will be a long and boring task. In conclusion, the gameplay involves jumping about, shooting images of other game makers. Occasionally a powerup appears to alter your weapon. Not sure what the 'BIG LASER' thing does, other than to make your bullet get glitched on the scenery more often. But it adds a bit of variety to the single level arena.

I wouldn't have thought it possible for a game to consist soley of images of game makers, but this game makes it one step closer to reality. The rest is very simply drawn. It's nice to see a parallax backdrop and it adds a Metal gear Solid: VR missions feel to the game. The game could have been made in the 1980's. If I wanted to nitpick I could say that the enemies get very pixelated when they catch up and vibrate on your face and when you fire and the crosshair is close to you, the bullets don't come out of the gun in the right direction. As you can see, I'm struggling to talk about the graphics because there's SO LITTLE TO TALK ABOUT! Nothing is animated other than your character, which may be for the better when you see your walking animation which is among the worst five I have ever seen.

The music is a standard affair for this type of game. It's repetitive beyond belief after a while and fuels your frenzy as you jump about the level. The sound effects are well placed and are the main reason that this game has a certain amount of OOMPH to it. You'll have heard everything the game has to offer within the first 30 seconds and beyond that point you're only asking for anybody sharing the house with you to bang on your door and demand that you turn it down.

That 30 second thing I keep talking about really does raise its ugly head here. The first time you play this game you'll see all there is to offer. You might play it again to see if you've missed anything or indeed if you want to review it, but you'll be disappointed if you're looking for anything with any depth. All you have to walk away with is a number for the amount of points you scored. Setting up an online leaderboard would add to this game would do wonders to its lastability. It's simple, but what's the point in playing it when there are so many other games out there? At least online you can show off about how much you Pwn at Jeff Pwns.

In conclusion, I would say that this game is better suited to one of those sites you go on when you should be doing work. Using the mouse really helps it to stand above those horrible games that insist you can only fire left or right. I'm struggling to think of anything else to say. It's repetitive, fast paced and with out any sort of reward. For what it is it's alright- it's what it isn't that it falls down on. And there's a lot it isn't. One final point- people seem to think it's alright because it's a joke game. Okay, that explains the animations, gameplay and obvious targeting (hoho) of other game makers... but it doesn't justify its high score and other benefits which should be reserved for proper, fun games. This game has had all the publicity it could have wished for, it's divided a community and will probably be remembered for far longer than other games released around the same time which really should have had the spotlight focused on them instead. It's more than just about this game, however. The controversy this game has stirred up is more to do with the game making community as a whole; its opinions on other game makers, its ideas about how to rate games and the question- what makes a perfect game? Do we want a superbly polished, uber complex game which will satisfy our gaming urges for hours? ...or do we want a monochrome, blockovision rendition of pong?

Sound and Music:

Download This Game

Posted by Ski 16th November, 2008

"Beepy sound effects and Presentation-ruining 'appear one letter at a time' introductions are best left 20 years in the past, but hey."

Pretty new to the scene, aren't you? You'll find the a lot of clickers actually quite like a retro feel to games.

Edit: Giving this game a 3 and calling it bad is clearly just so you can prove a point. Hopefully Shroomlock will find the time to write a more accurate and fair review
Comment edited by -Adam- on 11/16/2008
Posted by Mr_Tom 16th November, 2008

"Pretty new to the scene, aren't you? You'll find the a lot of clickers actually quite like a retro feel to games. "
this is true... unfortunately (for me)

"Giving this game a 3 and calling it bad is clearly just so you can prove a point."
yeah.. to prove the point that the game is bad. (sorry i couldn't help saying that)

I reckon Shroomlock would give this a 5 or 6 at most.
Posted by 3kliksphilip 16th November, 2008

I wouldn't say I was new to the scene. I've been making games for 8 years and was in Click Island from the start. a lot of clickers DO like retro feel to games. I do too if it actually fits in with the game, but in this case it's quite ironic that the game which is meant to be poking fun at other game making programs is bad itself. It's not as if beeps and bops take much effort to put in, any way.

If I was trying to prove a point I would give it 0. Or 1. If you look it's the lastability that drags this game down. Include several levels, different weapons and more types of enemies and it could be called a game. At the moment I'd say it's merely a stab at other game making programs.
Posted by Ricky 17th November, 2008

I'd give this game a 7-8
Posted by Eternal Man [EE] 17th November, 2008

Where do you get that displaying text letter by letter is something of the past? It's commonly used in almost every commercial game to some extent where voicecasting isn't used. It's the most effective way of making the text comprehendable and making sure that the player doesn't miss anything important in the text. The worst text display possible is when you just have large chunks of textes popping up, that's noobish. There are tons of things I would like to point out to you in this review that is highly innacurate or unfair, hopefully I'll find the time to do so soon. But if you're gonna bash a game, atleast don't do it whilst encouraging noobish behaviour.

(Now look at the above text, wouldn't that have been nicer if it were presented to you letter by letter?)
Posted by Mr_Tom 17th November, 2008

i don't really think his review exactly centered around that issue, its just a reviewing style to make light humour of minor aspects that the reviewer personally disliked.
Posted by 3kliksphilip 17th November, 2008

A review is my opinion. If you don't like it then make your own. I stand by everything I said in my review. The game is too simple. Possibly good gameplay is limited by the fact there are no objectives or end goals.
Posted by Ski 17th November, 2008

A comment is your opinion. A review has opinions yes, but it's also meant to be a trustworthy guide for people to see if they want to play the game or not, and with you and your little friend going around the site trying to make a point, I don't really think many people should take note of your unfair and somewhat biased "opinions"
Comment edited by -Adam- on 11/17/2008
Posted by Mr_Tom 17th November, 2008

a review is a detailed explanation of what that single person liked/disliked about the game.
Posted by 3kliksphilip 17th November, 2008

unbiased ""opinions""... I'm afraid they don't exist. Unless by ""opinions"" you mean facts. Do you think I'm trying to make something untrue with out reason? Do you not SEE why I have this point of view about the game? Unlike you I've made my reasons quite clear as to why I feel the way I do about the game. I felt strongly about this game and I put my point across. I'm contributing to the community, whether you like it or not.

To me this review is a trustworthy guide. What do I say which is false? Please, quote me.
Posted by Ski 17th November, 2008

" The first time you play this game you'll see all there is to offer."

I didn't see some of the power ups till the second time I played.

"Beepy sound effects and Presentation-ruining 'appear one letter at a time' introductions are best left 20 years in the past, but hey"

You meant the typewriter effect, and like Eternal Man said, it's an effect still used in modern day games.
Posted by Mr_Tom 17th November, 2008

in the first quote i dont think hes refering to YOU personally Adam, hes using it generally to mean 'one'.

and the second quote IS an opinion.

The statement 'I like beans' is not a lie just because you don't like beans.
Comment edited by Mr_Tom on 11/17/2008
Posted by AndyUK 17th November, 2008

I'm my opinion Jeff doesn't pwn at all. Let alone twice.
Posted by Ricky 18th November, 2008

"Beepy sound effects and Presentation-ruining 'appear one letter at a time' introductions are best left 20 years in the past, but hey"

You must not like pokemon, or any modern game with words in it.
Posted by 3kliksphilip 18th November, 2008

The fact that people only seem to be nit picking that sentence (Which happens to be my opinion on games in general) must mean that the review of the actual game must have nailed it on the head.

"I didn't see some of the power ups till the second time I played." Doesn't sound as if you enjoyed it enough to play it much, either.
Comment edited by 3kliksphilip on 11/18/2008
Posted by Ricky 18th November, 2008

This review didn't even come close to the nail. You can criticize a game for being simple, but that doesn't make it bad. By giving it a 3 you are saying that no one should download this game, even though the game is rather enjoyable.

Posted by Mr_Tom 18th November, 2008

yes he is, except that very last bit.
Posted by AndyUK 18th November, 2008

What he is saying is that he prefers games with more to them. Quite an understandable point of view.
Posted by Ricky 18th November, 2008

It is an understandable point of view, but it still doesn't warrant a 3.
Posted by Mr_Tom 18th November, 2008

him wanting to give it 3 warrants a 3. There are no laws on rating.
Posted by AndyUK 18th November, 2008

less is less.
Posted by Eternal Man [EE] 19th November, 2008

You're just plain bad.
Posted by AndyUK 19th November, 2008

who are you talking to?
Posted by 3kliksphilip 19th November, 2008

I don't think he knows any more.
Posted by Eternal Man [EE] 20th November, 2008

I know perfectly well, you 3KP and Mr Tom. See it as my "rating" of you.
Posted by AndyUK 20th November, 2008

Good thing you didn't mean me. I would have pwned you with a NO U. you're a Lucky man.
Posted by Eternal Man [EE] 20th November, 2008

A har har then.
Posted by Mr_Tom 20th November, 2008

lets stick to rating games, not each other.
Posted by Rikus 24th November, 2008

Wow this review got like the most comments ever for a review
Posted by 3kliksphilip 24th November, 2008

Just as the game it reviews did!
Posted by AndyUK 24th November, 2008

I dunno, Rikus. My Knytt stories review quite quite a lot.
Posted by AndyUK 30th November, 2008

sorry, i meant quite quite quite a lot.


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