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Review: Jeff Pwns II
Jeff Pwns. What a great name. I mean, seriously. A name, then what he does for a living. Add some Roman Numerals to the end and you've got yourself an award winning title which wouldn't look out of place when put up against all time greats such as 'Death Giver' and 'Horris Goes Skiing'. However, names aren't enough and you have to go above and beyond the Call of Duty (TM) to justify taking that game name for your own. Just as anybody wanting the latest computer games would be disappointed if they were to visit www.game.com , I'm sure that people booting up to 'Kill Kill Stab Murder 4: Civilian Massacre' only to be greeted with a monochrome blockovision rendition of pong would be quite upset that they've departed with a nice lump sum of money and / or 700 MB of download for the opportunity.
Oh sorry, where was I? Ah yes- Jeff Pwns II. Boot it up and you'll feel as if it's 1989 again. Beepy sound effects and Presentation-ruining 'appear one letter at a time' introductions are best left 20 years in the past, but hey. It has a certain style to it. In fact, this game is quite nicely presented. For an Atari game. I would say more but I can't actually think of much more to add. It's an ATARI game, only with a messier instructions page.
Gameplay consists of jumping around with the WASD controls, aiming with the mouse. I felt right at home and was blasting things about for a while. It's satisfying to fire the weapon and you really feel a connection when you hit something, be it a pseudo-3D block or a Construct image. I assume this game gets harder as it goes on, but the difficulty curve is fairly flat and restarting the game in an attempt to beat your high score will be a long and boring task. In conclusion, the gameplay involves jumping about, shooting images of other game makers. Occasionally a powerup appears to alter your weapon. Not sure what the 'BIG LASER' thing does, other than to make your bullet get glitched on the scenery more often. But it adds a bit of variety to the single level arena.
I wouldn't have thought it possible for a game to consist soley of images of game makers, but this game makes it one step closer to reality. The rest is very simply drawn. It's nice to see a parallax backdrop and it adds a Metal gear Solid: VR missions feel to the game. The game could have been made in the 1980's. If I wanted to nitpick I could say that the enemies get very pixelated when they catch up and vibrate on your face and when you fire and the crosshair is close to you, the bullets don't come out of the gun in the right direction. As you can see, I'm struggling to talk about the graphics because there's SO LITTLE TO TALK ABOUT! Nothing is animated other than your character, which may be for the better when you see your walking animation which is among the worst five I have ever seen.
The music is a standard affair for this type of game. It's repetitive beyond belief after a while and fuels your frenzy as you jump about the level. The sound effects are well placed and are the main reason that this game has a certain amount of OOMPH to it. You'll have heard everything the game has to offer within the first 30 seconds and beyond that point you're only asking for anybody sharing the house with you to bang on your door and demand that you turn it down.
That 30 second thing I keep talking about really does raise its ugly head here. The first time you play this game you'll see all there is to offer. You might play it again to see if you've missed anything or indeed if you want to review it, but you'll be disappointed if you're looking for anything with any depth. All you have to walk away with is a number for the amount of points you scored. Setting up an online leaderboard would add to this game would do wonders to its lastability. It's simple, but what's the point in playing it when there are so many other games out there? At least online you can show off about how much you Pwn at Jeff Pwns.
In conclusion, I would say that this game is better suited to one of those sites you go on when you should be doing work. Using the mouse really helps it to stand above those horrible games that insist you can only fire left or right. I'm struggling to think of anything else to say. It's repetitive, fast paced and with out any sort of reward. For what it is it's alright- it's what it isn't that it falls down on. And there's a lot it isn't. One final point- people seem to think it's alright because it's a joke game. Okay, that explains the animations, gameplay and obvious targeting (hoho) of other game makers... but it doesn't justify its high score and other benefits which should be reserved for proper, fun games. This game has had all the publicity it could have wished for, it's divided a community and will probably be remembered for far longer than other games released around the same time which really should have had the spotlight focused on them instead. It's more than just about this game, however. The controversy this game has stirred up is more to do with the game making community as a whole; its opinions on other game makers, its ideas about how to rate games and the question- what makes a perfect game? Do we want a superbly polished, uber complex game which will satisfy our gaming urges for hours? ...or do we want a monochrome, blockovision rendition of pong?
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