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Review: Gangsta
Author: Noyb
Added: 12/09/2004

Reposting my review...for the third time...

Dis game, here, it starts out wit da word "Gangster" zoomin' inta the screen, and you are given dese two system buttons telling you to "Start" or "End." I'd advise youse to choose da latter. If ya don't, you're subjected to a child's laughter with some recorder music in da background while dis kid's logo is displayed. I haven't been dis scared since I saw Vinny Bambozino's "back room." Hitting da spacebar brings you to a picture of a bona-fide gangsta, who sez he has 5 "missions" for "va." Misspelling as dese throughout dis game bring dishonor to his entire family.

In da first level, you drive a car, which can only go four directions, can change directions at will, and has no respect for da sacredness of physics. You are told to murder 30 of dese pedestrians comin' outa da "air port" for no good reason. Mebbe your boss just hates da world? Den you gotta drive a "boat," which also has neva heard of da phrase "diagonal movement" and shoot what appears to be meatballs at dis rival gang leader's boat. Den you gotta show no respect towards de fine law-abiding police force. After dat, you must flee from da cops, collectin' magical diamonds to remove da barriers in de way. Just like in real life. Afta youse escaped, "your a gangster."

De graphics only look vaguely like da things dat dey are supposed to represent, like some kinda surrealist nightmare. Zoomin' effects are overused, especially when da gangsta boss is zoomed out, revealin' some kinda metaphoric road.

Sound and Music
Accompanyin' de gruesome murdas bein' perpetrated by da protagonist are what sounds like da nonsensical babblings of a baby. I can only assume dis is to make da player ruminate on da grave consequences of murda and da fragility of human life. Dis is deeply disturbin' me.

Since dere are only four missions, which all are de simplest of simple (and not in a good way), dere is no reason to play dis game a second time, or even a first, for dat matta. De game itself lasts a whoppin' five minutes.

Final Thoughts
Dis is da reason why games like dat "Grand Theft Auto" should be taken away from da hands of da youngins. When da younger generation feels da needta create a game where da main point ista moida innocent civilians and police, we needta take a good, long look at ourselves. Dis game should be sleepin' wit da fishes.

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