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Review: Gangsta
Author: Buster
Added: 13/09/2004

If it's been your life long dream to be a gangster, then this simulation is for you, it shows the real life of a gangster is teaches kids that its not all fun and games.

Once you start the game a logo appears and gives you two choices with absolutely no explanation of what they actually do,
Click the button or Press space bar, I took a chance and pressed space bar. I guess I chose the wrong one because instead of starting the game a little black man hit the red penis and/or man in the head with a brick! Totally violent, but I guess thats just the life of a gangster.

Anyway lets meet the boss, when you start the game, your boss (who rudely doesn't tell you his name, but I'm guessing it's for privacy reasons, they also have to black out part of his face on TV) automatically starts telling you what you have to do in order to become a gangster. After reading it you might still be a little confused on what you need to do because of the large number of spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes, You may think a bit less of the creator of this simulation but don't, these where put in the game on purpose, if you want to be a gangster you need to be able to understand the talk. Shit, I know if I was a gangster leader guy and you came to me with correct spelling and punctuation on your resume I wouldn't hire you, I'd blow your god damn head off.

After a few hours of preparing my self for the gangster life I accepted the mission.
Apparently, Gangsters drive fire engines now, but you need to kill 15 sets of business men twins at the airport by running them down in your truck. Who ever said the life of a gangster was easy, well they couldn't be more right. There where no rival gangs or police or anything. Murdering 30 people is simple. Trust me this is a simulation it is 99.9% accurate. try it.

I got congratulated by the boss who still didn't tell me his name, but he did tell me the name of his rival enemy, Johnny McRonni, apparently he is one mean bitch, But after making a promise to my gangster I accepted the mission.

In this mission I was a little suprised to be honest, Johnny McRonni is in fact a birdhouse, Why the boss would be arch rivals with a birdhouse puzzled me. But I got in my slightly smaller customized birdhouse with attached AK 47. I took the poor thing down even though I didn't think he deserved to die.

I passed the mission and all of a sudden he accused me of damaging his boat! What a load of crap that was! I tried to explain that I didn't touch his friggen boat but he kept going on and on about it! I thought he would of been more angry about me wrecking his birdhouse!
After our argument the boss was nice enough to let me keep the job. My next assignment was killing people as well as a couple of cops.
When I arrived at the beach I was shocked that everyone at the beach was wearing their expensive suits! Then I remembered that back in the time of the gangster if you tried to wear something like we do today at the beach you would get arrested for indecent exposure! As I said before this simulation is fairly accurate! Anyway I begin killing all of the clones in my oversized novelty hamster ball, I've killed every clone and a couple of cops like the boss asked but for some reason my mission was not complete.
Traditionally a "couple" is two, but apparently gangsters think that it is 17.
I still disagree, but I guess the gangster knows more about gangster life than I do.

Well now its time to run from the cops, I've finally been caught for my murders.
In this mission you drive around collecting triangles... gangster triangles that unlock rectangles... gangster rectangles!
After you've done that crap you are asked to move to the right until you have escaped. I'm not to sure if i'm moving or not by this point, but the cops failed to catch me anyway. It's time to head home to the boss who has some exciting news, he is a lieing son of a bitch. I was ready to quit my gangster job right there, But then he told me it was time to meet the bitches, I didn't exactly know what he meant by that but I never found out either, But what I did find out is my bosses true identity, he is revealed in the next frame and tells me that I am finally a gangster, it was the proudest day of my life.

I've seen worse.

Fantastic, an extremely accurate simulation of a gangster life.

Boats look like birdhouses.

Sound and Music:
Gangsters sound like chimpanzees.

After playing this game I've realized that a gangsters job is very hard work and I no longer want to become one. So, Ill probably never play this game again.

Sound and Music:

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