Yerrrp, you shoulda seen your Great-Great Grandpappy Gumple do it! He grabbed that son a bitch and blasted two warnin' shots before using yer pappy's beaver leg to chew away at the snowmans wooden arms! Yerrrp! Those'r the days! That was the same year yer Great Uncle Clavis started butchering his own children to make chilli! Times were tough, and yer had to do what yer had to do! Clavis was a gewd man married to a gewd women who bared 25 children (inculdn' two who had pigsfeet, cause' he had been sleepin' wit the same piggy! All them kids were sure nice, and yer Auntie tried to stop em' from eatin em'! But yer Aunt Chavis didn't stop em' from whackin' his kids with a greased-up pigglet! Iz true! He go done blast em', and they twitched like a chicken without a head! S'true! He stewed em' up like yer Great-Great-Great-Great Grandma did back in 1778, only that was with two Eskimos cause' she anit' likin eskimos to much, ya see. Yerrp, ripped em' right outta their lil' egg glues and beat em' to death with two tons of ham! Yer Uncle HAVSK, (who was also yer brother, great uncle, great-great-great-grandpappy, and yer great-great-great grandmaw) tried to stop er', but she hated em' cause he was Jewish, so she grabbed a load of panda lard and slathered him up in it before sayin' the magic words 'Osta Osta FIDDLE STICKS!' which caused all the Indian Babies to eat all the creamed corn in the entire state! HAMSTEAK!
Fine Garbage since 2003.
CURRENT PROJECT:
-Paying off a massive amount of debt in college loans.
-Working in television.
Yer Great Uncle Spitzy made that same eye-bally face, Tiddlywinks! Yes, I know that's yer name, Digital Dreams, yer always known by the same name when you grow up in a town like ours! I knows yer a city folk now, goin' on this fancy DC, but you should still find time for yer Great, Great, Great Grandpappy Vippy, shouldn't yer? Anyway, ol' Spitzy gave me the same look as I told em' all about yer travels to the old mill back in TN, you know, the one that produces little sugar packets? Yep, told em' all bout' how you took down that damned demon squirrel! Yeeeesury! He was mighty shocked- you wasn't much a fighter when you was a boy, no sir, you were beaten up by Old Lady Mackentire, remember! Don't be ashamed, she was a nasty old gal, but she was beaten down one day in the summer of 1892 by a chicken-gone-sour! Yep, that ol' chicken was mean as could be- nearly tore my other eye out with it, then I'd be blind in both eyes! But I beat it over the head with a piece of year-old mutton leg! Yesssiry, yer grandmama thought it was crazy o' me to go done carry that rotten-mutton around, but I knewed it would come to use one day! Saw it in a vision back in 1902! Yessir, a giant clam told me to carry a rotten mutton around, and I did! Damn near made me iller then a chicken with sour crop, but I did use it, didn't I? Anyway, he was so amazed that you beat down that demon squirrel with that musty old piece of ham- take after yer grandpappy, yessir!- he was so suprised that he blew his eye balls out! They flew cross county and landed in some little girls ice-cream! Yessir! CREAMED CORN!!!
Fine Garbage since 2003.
CURRENT PROJECT:
-Paying off a massive amount of debt in college loans.
-Working in television.
Peblo Custom ratings must be 50 characters or less
Registered 05/07/2002
Points 185
9th December, 2005 at 22:41:19 -
Anyone else skip over Lazarus's posts?
"Isn't it always amazing how we characterize a person's intelligence by how closely their thinking matches ours?"
~Belgarath
Peblo, did I ever tell you bout' the time yer Great Grandmama Papass go done have went off with old Cooky? Yerp, she got the hots for his flap-jack-makin' ablities. Yesery, so they went done go off and *EDIT* with a *EDIT* *EDIT* so that they *EDIT* stick *EDIT**EDIT*EDIT* yeeehawww! She said, so *EDIT* *EDIT* EDIT* and he was using flapjacks to slap her hine-quarters! You shoulda heard the sqealin', sounded like a load o' pigs! So that's how they had yer brother, Cooky JR, but he was killed in the Great War of 1910 when them damned Indians go done kill all the crops! Cooky was wounded in battle (he got struck with an arrow through his throat). So he stuck onea his flapjacks inside the bleedin' wound, and it absorbed the blood like a spondge! Wooowee! His pancakes were good for more then eatin' and slappin' thighs! And that's how Moochie saved Christmas!
Fine Garbage since 2003.
CURRENT PROJECT:
-Paying off a massive amount of debt in college loans.
-Working in television.
Don' you run from me, boy! I's gonna rip you limb from limb jus' like yer Great Granny Pappers did in 1874! She rip yer Great, Great Uncle Buxly into shreads and fed im' to her own kids! Yesir, but she was fed to a wolf 'erself back in the cold summer of 69'! Took a whole pack of im' to kill er', but the point is, she dead, and there aint nothing you can do! Don't blame yerself boy, you was busy making stuffed walrus' down at the old petting Zoo.
Fine Garbage since 2003.
CURRENT PROJECT:
-Paying off a massive amount of debt in college loans.
-Working in television.
Deleted User
13th December, 2005 at 07:39:21 -
Uhhhhhhh ok your wierd *hops in plane and flys far far away.
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